If, like most of the rest of the male members of your species, you’ve had a go at making a pocket pussy substitute, you’re familiar with the potato chip can variant. It’s not a bad toy as these things go, but there’s also room for improving this homemade pocket pussy. In the interest of a better pocket pussy for all, here’s the improved model.

To start—get an empty potato chip can (the tall size, not the single serving size), some foam rubber (a sheet about a foot wide and just longer than your potato chip can will do), a condom, a gasket, and an Exacto knife. Don’t worry; the knife doesn’t go inside your homemade pocket pussy.

Turn the condom inside out and drop the gasket into it. This makes inserting into the condom more comfortable, particularly if the condom’s lubricated, and the gasket will help keep it open. Cut the tip of your condom open; this will give your dick more room to roam when you’ve built the completed pocket pussy. Lay the condom down over your sheet of foam and mark the spot where the gasket reaches. You’ll cut along that mark.

Now that you’ve got two pieces of rubber, stuff the smaller piece into the bottom of the can. Wrap the larger piece into a tube and loosely wrap it into the can that’s going to be your pocket pussy housing. Next, put the condom in, stretching its opening over the lips of the can. Make a small slit in the bottom of the can with your Exacto—this will control the suction and give your pocket pussy a better grip. Voila! You’re in business. Just lube up your cock and you’re ready to rock.

Remember to replace the condom after every use, not to mention the foam at the bottom. That stuff will smell funky after a few uses of your pocket pussy. Now you’ve learned the pocket pussy lore that passes down through generations. Use it wisely.